current mental state

i have this chronic back pain which is affecting me in numerous ways. i have always been a very active, athletic person and right now i am unable to do many of the
activities which i enjoy. which is depressing. many mornings i don't want to get out of bed because i know i will be greeted with sharp pain which will require medication, stretching, and a walk to bring down to a manageable level. i am taking drugs regularly which i do think affects my moods too. i don't like any of this, but the pain is always there, and the doctors don't seem to have any good answers.

anyway, i didn't intend to lay all this on you, but it just came out, so there it is. i think more than anything now i just need good friends who'll be with me but also be understanding when i'm moody or just want to be alone. i'm concerned that i not be a "downer" to people all the time. i'm trying to maintain a positive attitude, but sometimes i just don't have it. it's difficult to think about, pray for, and try to be there for other people when i'm dealing with this back thing. all of this is beginning to affect my relationship with god too. why would god want me to be in constant pain? how long do i have to pray until something happens? i know this all probably sounds fairly pathetic, but i'm just trying to share my mental (and physical and emotional and spiritual) state with you.